What is your turning point?



  • What makes you say either 'hey I want to RP with this person way more' or 'hey I don't want to actively RP with this person anymore'? Can be IC, can be OOC; just curious about the spectrum.

    For me, I've found my breaking point is often centered around pressure to TS. This has happened before and happened again recently to me. Char was in a long term relationship with another character and the other player made some OOC comment about not getting enough TS. Despite their apology when I called them out on it, I found myself liking the player less and less for other things I would have normally ignored and I eventually asked to end the relationship IC. I couldn't get passed the 'I'm not getting enough TS' mentality.

    Something that will almost always make me want to RP more with people is probably pretty common, and that's level of interaction in a scene. Are you drawing me into something my character can contribute to? Are you asking questions that they can respond to? Are you physically doing something that they can play off of? Are you handing out plot like it's going out of style? That sort of engagement makes me want to play with that person more!

    So! What's your turning point?



  • I think you basically nailed it (no pun intended), I'd say the same things really with the addition of clingy-stalker behavior as another turn-off, even if their writing is really good.

    If we're sharing memories, I was applying at a Star Wars game once with a droid character and this player latched onto me CLEARLY to fulfill a kink. She was kind of funny about it at first but then it was like, every page mentioned "are you going to buy certain...UPGRADES ;) ;) ;) :)" and going on and on about "polishing" me (OH YEAH ADDITIONAL TURN-OFF: talking to me in pages like I am my character), uuuuuuuuuuuuhghghghghghghghghgehuwhfguiewsnafn

    Edit: Just to clarify, it's not that she had a kink and I don't mean to shame, I might have even indulged her. It's just that she was so fixated and loco about it before I had even hit the grid, like...I don't know you lady, hold your goddamn horses.


  • Pitcrew

    @vulgarkitten That is honestly mind boggling, I've never had anyone express that to me. If they did, I'd have the exact same reaction, probably with some more expletives. Like, it's not cute to pressure your rl SO for sex, why in the world would it ever be ok for a fake pretendy one?

    My personal turning point is about the burden of entertainment. If I have a few scenes with a player and it's on me to set the scene AND keep it going AND shoehorn some direction into it each time, I will lose all interest. When "Let's RP" starts to sound like "entertain me the way I like", I dial out.



  • For me it comes down to a simple thing:

    Is the RP Enjoyable or is it not.

    If the RP has become consistently not-enjoyable then it is not worth my time. I play these games to have fun.

    Note: Enjoyable RP does not always mean enjoyable to the character.

    As per the TS thing?

    It would depend on how it was mentioned OOCly for me. Sometimes people have different needs and desires, but it doesn't mean that they are pressuring you, they are just trying to get things on the same page.

    Or they could be pressuring you.

    I dunno your situation.



  • I think the thing that makes me most want to RP with someone again is when they riff off of my meta in a way that is funny.


  • Pitcrew

    When someone asks me more than once for a scene and then stands me up. Why you do this? :(


  • Pitcrew

    Oh that's a really interesting question!

    So for me, people who want all of my time turn me off RP, or the second I log on they're paging asking for a scene (every time, that is. I don't mind the odd page, especially if it's in relation to on-going stuff!). Or get my OOC contact details so they can message me to ask me when I'm playing next. I hate it, I want to RP with other people as well! Or worse when they start chasing me around the grid to be in every scene I am, and/or paging me about how I'm scening with other people. All of that and nah, I'm out.

    Also I don't personally enjoy RPing with characters whose main concept is 'a dick to everyone'. I love antagonism and have played some pretty antagonistic characters in my time, but if it's literally every scene, I just don't find it fun.

    What makes me want to RP more with people? I guess when we bounce off each other well. Where we give each other space to learn about each other's (and our own!) characters. Are we good at picking up each other's style of RP and pick up on the little things, fantastic, MOAR OF THAT!

    It's hard to verbalise though, there's just things that work for me and things that don't.



  • Good question! I can really only answer 'historically' at this point, since I haven't been playing lately.

    There is rarely one thing. There are things that can tilt the scale in that direction, though -- and it's always one of them that's the straw that breaks the camel's back, barring over the top crazytown antics (which are thankfully somewhat rare).

    Things that work against someone:

    • Consistently disrespecting my time. This means not bothering to ever tell me if you're not going to show up, or making plans only to blow them off to go chase someone else.
      Annoyingly, in my experience, this is often to go chase TS with someone -- confirmed, not guessed or speculated upon. I wish these people would just tell me 'I'm not interested in RP with you when there's available epoon to plow!' so I could go do something else and not set aside time for them. (Because I wouldn't.)

    • Pressuring for OOC personal hookups/etc. This is a total no-go zone, and I'm up front about this. That... changes little, for the determined idiots. :/

    • OOCly stalking me around the MUX. This could be +where-stalking, 'I see you are unfindable what are you up to?!' or the other variations on, 'how dare you be in a room with someone with a name that might be male!'

    • As a sub-heading beneath the last bit, if someone has a bad thing to say about literally anyone I'm in a scene with that isn't them. This isn't always an accusation of something, and it usually takes a few weeks for this one to surface, since one instance of it is sometimes harmless.
      There are less-than-awesome groups someone can fall into a scene with, and being warned that you've just slipped and fallen face-first into a toxic clique is not what I mean here. It's more the weeks-long progression of 'I see you're in a scene with Bob and Sandy, did you know that they totally cheated back on <game>? (Insert pile of gossip about Bob and Sandy here, repeat the next day when it's Tom, the next when it's Susan, etc.) This is a more insidious sort of 'I want to control who you play with' that's more subtle than the direct freakout over 'OMG YOU ARE IN A ROOM WITH BOB AND YOU ARE MAH PROPERTAY' but it is absolutely the same sort of bullshit control tactic with an extra dose of toxicity.

    • Does not share attention well with others. Must always be the star/winner/focus of any scene they're in, no matter what it is or how many people are involved.

    On the plus side:

    • Creatively interactive. Picks up on hooks and throws them back. Does not always do the most predictable things (or the same thing on endless repeat).

    • Sense of humor + does not always have to be perfect IC all the time. A sense of humor, and a sense of self-effacing humor (without getting into slapstick or self-pity) is a huge plus and adds a lot of fun to playing with someone for me.

    • Shares attention well with others, and creates opportunities for others to have the spotlight.


  • Pitcrew

    @thesuntsar said in What is your turning point?:

    When someone asks me more than once for a scene and then stands me up. Why you do this? :(

    @surreality said in What is your turning point?:

    Consistently disrespecting my time. This means not bothering to ever tell me if you're not going to show up, or making plans only to blow them off to go chase someone else.

    These. Wasting my time. RL happens and so being stood up happens, that's fine. Have the courtesy afterwards to apologize and maybe even try to reschedule.

    I've mentioned it before but I had someone ask for a scene, stand me up, ask for one the next day.. and then stand me up while dark so they could ask my alt for RP instead. That was an instant add to the No Play list.



  • @lithium said in What is your turning point?:

    For me it comes down to a simple thing:

    Is the RP Enjoyable or is it not.

    If the RP has become consistently not-enjoyable then it is not worth my time. I play these games to have fun.

    Note: Enjoyable RP does not always mean enjoyable to the character.

    As per the TS thing?

    It would depend on how it was mentioned OOCly for me. Sometimes people have different needs and desires, but it doesn't mean that they are pressuring you, they are just trying to get things on the same page.

    Or they could be pressuring you.

    I dunno your situation.

    We were talking about someone getting cockblocked in game and the player made the comment: "Mmmm. Speaking of lack of cock lately."


  • Pitcrew

    Things that make me want to RP more with a person: their RP is fun and they are nice OOC. RP being fun can be pretty subjective, but -- picking up what I'm dropping, giving stuff in return, etc. Being attentive and responsive. Having a sense of specificity to their PC, which is what makes PCs really seem alive to me instead of kind of generic. Being generally considerate and a good sport.

    Things that turn me off? In actual RP terms, I really hate a sense of IC gaslighting. Even when it's totally legit IC, it just gets under my skin and I don't like playing with it, so I'm likely to avoid that character or player in the future. By this I mean that sense of, like -- PC A does something super rude or whatever, my PC reacts like it's rude, and then I get a whole bunch of "omg you're so unreasonable/I wasn't being rude" back IC. I think this is more likely just a level of OOC unawareness, but it super bugs me, so I avoid it when I encounter it.

    OOC clingyness, rudeness, etc. I don't have a problem with RPing with a person a bunch if we're both really feeling it, so long as we're both also chill with the other being like "Okay gonna go RP with some other folks!" I've had RP partners like that and it's totally great.

    I'll say disrespecting my time rather than wasting. If we have plans and RL happens, it happens! But please don't then leave it on me to follow up when you come back around the game. If I get suddenly held up and miss someone, I'll be paging or mailing them as soon as I'm back to the game for a quick apology. The whole "miss a planned thing and then don't even bother to say anything" drives me a bit nuts.

    I tend to be on channels a lot, so just -- idk man, sometimes I find someone generally aggravating in how they talk on channel, and then I don't particularly want to RP with them. If you are OOCly rude, patronizing, etc., where I can see, I probably don't want to play with you.

    Being demanding/entitled about RP or in RP. Being inconsiderate.

    I WILL ADD MORE IF I THINK OF MORE.



  • @vulgarkitten said in What is your turning point?:

    We were talking about someone getting cockblocked in game and the player made the comment: "Mmmm. Speaking of lack of cock lately."

    alt text


  • Pitcrew

    Most of the ones I have are already mentioned, especially in regards to TS and the pressures to have it regularly.

    Another is rp with the person is nothing but romance. They won't budge in any other direction. That's a pass.

    Fuck yeah is definitely when characters are portrayed with short comings. I don't mean flaws like a missing eye or leg. I'm talking about the imperfect people and they play up their low stats over their above average stats. I just have to be their friend. And I'll probably stalk them. No shame.

    I also agree with the bouncing back, feels good when you suddenly lose track of time cause you've been going back and forth with someone far longer than you idealy planned on rp'ing. Then call out sick to work. Again no shame.

    edit: Too much modern slang in a historical setting.



  • @vulgarkitten said in What is your turning point?:

    @lithium said in What is your turning point?:

    For me it comes down to a simple thing:

    Is the RP Enjoyable or is it not.

    If the RP has become consistently not-enjoyable then it is not worth my time. I play these games to have fun.

    Note: Enjoyable RP does not always mean enjoyable to the character.

    As per the TS thing?

    It would depend on how it was mentioned OOCly for me. Sometimes people have different needs and desires, but it doesn't mean that they are pressuring you, they are just trying to get things on the same page.

    Or they could be pressuring you.

    I dunno your situation.

    We were talking about someone getting cockblocked in game and the player made the comment: "Mmmm. Speaking of lack of cock lately."

    Yeah ok, I can understand being upset by that for sure.



  • @wildbaboons The most infuriating incarnation of the time waster:

    "OMG, sorry, I forgot!"
    "OK. Want to aim for <later date and time>?"
    "Sure!"

    <repeat the above past the point at which credulity is strained, or this person's memory must be worse than a pasta strainer>

    <after a few rounds of this, when later date and time is within a few hours>
    "We still on for a scene today?"
    "OMG STOP NAGGING ME OMG, what, did you think I would forget or something?!"

    -.-

    Yes, yes I did, actually. And that's the version of events that's giving them the benefit of the doubt that they aren't just being a cowardly jerk!



  • I RP with someone more when it feels collaborative.

    I'm a natural storyteller. I'll craft plot on a small scale with someone, telling stories between us.

    "OH NO THUGS ATTACK!" sort of story. I just... create story. It's not just 'sitting around chatting' scenes with me, generally. Story/plot happens because I cannot help but craft story.

    I will return to you again and again if you play off of this. If you collaborate.

    If you just take and take and bleed me dry, I am unlikely to come back as often.

    But the people who are give-and-take. Who will run with the story, themselves? Who will improv? Who will build off of the story I create? Oh, I love them. I will play with them again and again.

    As someone told me recently: I get most of his RP (and vice versa) because I 'always have an idea.' He gets a lot of people who 'just want to RP.' And they don't have anything in mind. They 'just want to RP.' Because he's like I am. He'll have story, plot, etc. Those people want to be entertained.

    But he knows if I ask him to RP, I have something in mind. Be it new story or part of ongoing plot, etc. There is a purpose to the scene. And vice versa: if he asks me to RP, I know the same.

    Those are the people I RP with most (so hi, if you're reading this and want more RP with me... that's the secret. Bring ideas! Engage me! I am not an endless idea fountain :D I wanna be entertained, too!).


  • Creator

    I'm not having fun. I play pretendyfuntime games to have fun. I have very limited time, so if I'm not having fun I don't do that thing anymore, and do something else.

    If I dread logging in or it's work, it's no longer fun. If a person blows me off, it's no longer fun. They may not have done so, but if it feels it that might be enough, depending on the person; if I've known them a while I might talk to them about it, if it's a new relationship maybe not.



  • I'm a GC.
    I make waterparks, movie sets and coasters happen.

    My times waver, and my career involves being the biggest, meanest, most-insulting douchebag in the sandbox so all the other douchebags in the sandbox get to fucking work, and get the job done.

    Anytime I feel the need to employ my skills as a GC in the small time I have to myself, is time I write off - as well as the person who invoked it.



  • @horrorhound said in What is your turning point?:

    I'm a GC.

    And zomg, get your damned Submittals in! ;)


  • Pitcrew

    How to instantly disengage me:

    • Imply OOCly that I should have done something in game that I haven't, and chide me for it.
    • Try to give me guilt for not getting a scene with you fast enough.
    • Try to give me guilt for RPing with other people who aren't you.

    How to instantly engage me:

    • Be consistent with your character and setting even if it upsets people. I love people who stick to their character.
    • Be cool with consequences, and willing to roll with the unexpected.
    • Collaborate. Don't make me always set, or do the bulk of the reaching out, or the bulk of the story-driving.
    • Change. Static characters make me /crazy/. Why bother RPing with them? Nothing is going to matter. When you show your character can change, and that things happening have an effect on them? I am instantly more engaged myself.

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