The Worst Character Bio



  • We've all had to write character bios / fill out questionnaires on games over the years that just... made no goddamn sense at times.

    I want to present to you this one that keeps cropping up for school that drives me up the fucking wall. This one angers me to the extent that the last time I had to do it (last month), I literally began hitting my keyboard at one point.

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/o1otut0iihwdsul/CharBio - 1608.docx?dl=0

    Enjoy. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you.

    My "favorite" question is this one:
    20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?



  • @Auspice

    What the fuck course is this for in school?



  • @Ganymede said in The Worst Character Bio:

    @Auspice

    What the fuck course is this for in school?

    Writing short films.
    Yes, those ridiculous long bios... for characters in short films. :| Like, we're talking screenplays less than 15 pages long.

    I fucking hate this shit.

    The urge to start filling in incredibly snarky responses gets pretty fucking intense.



  • @Auspice

    This course sounds extremely asinine. I'd recommend burning it.



  • It's like the parody directors who tell you all sorts of background as motivation for the 5-second shot of you eating cheerios.


  • Pitcrew

    Kill it with fire.


  • Pitcrew

    After the rage-inducing minutia (much of it useless for many short films) got to me... I started to wonder what sort of character you would get if you just answered "No" to all of those questions (and meant it).



  • So much of it is fucking useless.

    I did actually, on the last one, answer 'This has absolutely no bearing on this story.' to a few of the questions. I still got 100 on the bio, so I'm wondering if the instructor even read through the whole thing or just skimmed it. Like so long as you wrote more than 'No' or 'N/A' and it appeared to be a complete sentence...

    A lot of the questions are also redundant. You get asked, at least twice, about things like their physical appearance and the like. Just rephrased.



  • I've seen comic book scripts by respected writers that go very deep into the mood and tone background of otherwise minor characters, for the artist's purposes when drawing the character.


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