Tales from the Crypt!



  • So, it has been announced that Tales From the Crypt will be returning, though it will be made by M. Night Shyamalan and won't have the Cryptkeeper. SO, since we are about to have a shitty new Tales From the Crypt coming our way...

    ...what was your favorite Tales From the Crypt episode?

    Mine was "Terror Television", about the hokey journalist who does a publicity stunt to spend a night in a haunted house, only to find out that the house is actually haunted. Him and his camera man end up being chainsawed and hung out of a window.


  • Coder

    Friday the Thirteenth, The Series. I just liked it. It wasn't great, but it wasn't trying to be.

    I might have watched Tales from the Crypt more if it wasn't for the screechy muppet. The Twilight Zone would have felt the same if Rod Serling announced each of the episodes while dressed like Flippo the Clown and kept winking at the camera.



  • Demon Knight. :) Yeah, yeah, sue me, TftC movie rather than episode... it was still fucking awesome.



  • @Miss-Demeanor Demon Knight was amazing. Billy Zane was so good, and that SOUNDTRACK.

    I miss the days when the movie's soundtrack was a great album to buy, like the Crow soundtrack or Queen of the Damned. The Awesome Mix Vol. 1 seems like the first movie in a long, long time to do that.



  • @Ghost Maximum Overdrive. Best soundtrack. Ever.


  • Coder

    @Miss-Demeanor I have to say Demon Knight was really quite good, Billy Zane has a soft spot in my heart and Jada was also pretty good.

    Overall I didn't watch to much Tales from the Crypt, or at least it didn't have to much of an impact on my psyche, not like say, Creepshow did...

    Fucking cockaroaches!

    and

    Thanks for the Ride Lady!



  • @Lithium I really enjoyed all the TftC movies. Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood, and Ritual are all good. :)



  • I have two favorite Tales from The Crypt episodes:

    The Ventriloquist's Dummy, had Bobcat Goldthwait it - it involved him wanting to learn and become as great as his hero a ventriloquist only to find out that the puppet was more than a puppet.

    And the second was Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone, starring Joe Potagliano, where his character was given some cat glands and had nine lives - and he was a circus showman who was using those lives to make money in grander and more grandiose stunts. The entire episode is narrated by him from inside a coffin as he recounts his various deaths.



  • Ventriloquist's Dummy was AMAZING!



  • @Miss-Demeanor said:

    Ventriloquist's Dummy was AMAZING!

    It is one of the more memorable episodes for me.

    @Lithium said:

    Creepshow did...

    There was another episode of another horror show and I can never find reference to it online. I swore that it had Kevin Bacon in it but it wasn't on his IMDB. Essentially the episode is this woman goes to visit her sister and her new husband at their cabin. While she's there she sees her sister is depressed about their baby's arrival and even attempts to kill herself. Towards the end of the show the pregnant sister is babbling that her husband isn't right, the baby isn't right - and then she gives a birth to a giant baby cockroach. And then Kevin turns into a giant cockroach. And tells the sister that she'll be his next wife. It was all pretty surreal. I saw this when I was like 12 and will never forget it.

    Anyways I think this might have been a Creepshow episode.


  • Pitcrew

    @Lithium

    I had nightmares as a kid from Creepshow 2, especially the "Thanks for the Ride lady!" One.

    Tales from the Darkside's intro used to creep me out too.


  • Coder

    Plot twist, The Cryptkeeper is in the movie, but it's M. Night Shyamalan.


  • Coder

    @Alzie said:

    Plot twist, The Cryptkeeper is in the movie, but it's M. Night Shyamalan.

    Or at least his career.


  • Admin

    @Thenomain said:

    Or at least his career.
    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/people/chart/?view=Director&id=shyamalan.htm

    His movies are turning out $154 million on average adjusted after inflation. His career is fine, which is why he keeps getting to make more movies.

    ... They are crappy movies, agreed, but that's a whole different story.


  • Banned

    @Arkandel said:

    @Thenomain said:

    Or at least his career.
    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/people/chart/?view=Director&id=shyamalan.htm

    His movies are turning out $154 million on average adjusted after inflation. His career is fine, which is why he keeps getting to make more movies.

    ... They are crappy movies, agreed, but that's a whole different story.

    Why does he get to make crappy movies when Tommy Wiseau doesn't?


  • Admin

    @Cirno said:

    ... They are crappy movies, agreed, but that's a whole different story.

    Why does he get to make crappy movies when Tommy Wiseau doesn't?

    I'm not sure what you're asking. Isn't it obvious that if your product consistently turns out a tidy profit someone will hire you to make more of whatever it is?


  • Banned

    @Arkandel said:

    @Cirno said:

    ... They are crappy movies, agreed, but that's a whole different story.

    Why does he get to make crappy movies when Tommy Wiseau doesn't?

    I'm not sure what you're asking. Isn't it obvious that if your product consistently turns out a tidy profit someone will hire you to make more of whatever it is?

    Ah, yes, I forgot that The Room didn't make a profit.


  • Pitcrew

    @Cirno
    Because M Night made a couple of good ones first.
    that is the true secret to making it in Hollywood, put out one or two good and profitable movies then start churning the out the dreck, and raking in money.

    The good ones in M nights case are Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, granted Sixth Sense really doesn't hold up well after time and shock have passed.


  • Coder

    @ThatGuyThere said:

    @Cirno
    Because M Night made a couple of good ones first.
    that is the true secret to making it in Hollywood, put out one or two good and profitable movies then start churning the out the dreck, and raking in money.

    The good ones in M nights case are Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, granted Sixth Sense really doesn't hold up well after time and shock have passed.

    UInbreakable was panned, bad... Signs got a lot of love though why any aliens would come /here/ if water made them melt is beyond me. Our planet is practically nothing but water and if they could travel here, they'd fucking know it.

    As someone who never watched the cartoon I actually didn't mind his Avatar movie, neat special effects at least. Was better than trees making us suicidal at least.


  • Coder

    @Lithium
    In th e final season of the cartoon, The Gang covertly goes to see a play about themselves, because why not. They are horrified with how the world sees them (no wonder; it was propaganda) but at the end their summary was, "It was ... alright? Good special effects, though."

    Officially the Avatar creators don't say anything about the movie. I think this is their unofficial response.